i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
