Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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