Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
