There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
