You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So much rum. So many feels.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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