I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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