I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
