i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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