Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
