oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
