the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
