Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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