She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
