As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
