dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
