"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
