well you can't waste a boner
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
