I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
