butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
