Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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