what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
The uberlube is also flammable
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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