so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
