Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
3pm strippers are depressing
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
