OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
