i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
