I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
well, you know. whores of a feather.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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