oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
