Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Randomize
