Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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