I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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