your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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