Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
