She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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