Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
