in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you didnt know i had herpes?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
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