haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
