i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
