just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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