matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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