dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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