just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
