No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
