all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
