Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
