I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
3pm strippers are depressing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
