i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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