let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
