Say something about gay babies.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
