Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
