someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
