Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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